It’s been a while since I have been around here, since December 4th to be exact. How did it get to be the end of April?
It’s been a bit of a busy year around here. My oldest child moved out to go to college, and we discovered that we were expecting again. I am now 11 weeks along and I think I am on the upswing from the nasty nausea that has been ever present for the last several weeks. I can’t complain though – after suffering from hyperemesis during almost every one of my pregnancies, a little bit of nausea is just a minor bump in the road.
I did give up cloth diapering for the duration of my morning (ha!) sickness. Because even looking in a toilet is likely to make me add my stomach contents to it. But I am eager to get Lily out of those nasty, chemical laden things and back into some nice, soft, cloth diapers. She is going potty for me at least twice a day, so I think being able to feel her wetness may make her able to take the next step towards potty training. Or not, you never can tell…
As to the part about my oldest child moving out, that has been a wonderful boost in my parenting patience. Suddenly I was able to see that this stage (and every stage you can think of) does in fact end and they really do grow up and move on. When I had only little children and the little old lady in the grocery store would cluck at me to “Enjoy every minute, it flies so fast!” all I could think about before was that she must not remember how long a sleepless night or a toddler tantrum can feel! But now I have seen that it is true. Those sleepless night are long and tiring, those toddler tantrums can grate on our last nerve, but there really is a time when those have passed.
So, on one of those nights when Lily wakes up for the tenth time before 3am, I have just a little more patience to kiss her on the head and snuggle her close as I remember my oldest daughter who was once just this small and is now on her own. I am so grateful to my oldest for teaching me how to be a mom and for this gift of time she has unknowingly gifted me with as she has stretched her own wings.
Now I look at the mothers who have gone on before me and realize they were right. Time does fly. I just couldn’t feel it while I was in the middle of it. When they said that “This too, shall pass.” they meant even when it feels like mothering is so hard that you can’t struggle through another day, one day you will wake up and it will be memory.
So for my part, I need to hold my children close while I can. I need to smile at them more, hug them more, sit on the floor a little more, and remember that one day there will be no more diaper laundry or toddler tantrums or tiny soft bodies to keep me warm at night. What a gift we have – this time with our children.