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All moms deserve to be treated with respect.
February 17, 2010 7:25 pm | by

All moms deserve to be treated with respect. I’ll say it again, maybe a little louder this time. All moms deserve to be treated with respect.

We all know that there are really bad moms out there. I’m not writing about those moms.
I’m writing about the moms we are all friends with – the ones who really, truly, want to do a good job taking care of their baby. I’m writing about you. You deserve to know that you are a good mom.
Over the last seven years, I’ve found myself in an interesting position with the parents who shop in my store (Cotton Babies). We opened our store seven years ago as fresh parents with very, dare I say, arrogant opinions about parenting. I’d actually said, and I’m blushing as I type this:
“My child will never be allowed to behave like that child.”
“My child will never be that dirty”.
“What kind of a mom allows _______?”
“My child will never know what a pacifier is.”
“My child will never get a bottle. What kind of mom doesn’t breastfeed?”
“Look at the ugly disposable diaper on that baby.”
We are seven years into parenting now and, we couldn’t have been more wrong. My child has behaved like “that child”. My child has been “that dirty”. I have been the mom that allowed _____. I begged my babies to take pacifiers. My oldest and my youngest both had bottles at some point during their first year because of issues with breastfeeding, particularly during their first weeks of life. And, gasp, yes, I’ve occasionally had to use disposable diapers on my babies.
The first day that I realized that I had hurt someone with my words was when a close friend of mine broke down in tears after trying for weeks to breastfeed her baby and finally having to give up because her baby was loosing weight and getting dehydrated. She simply didn’t produce enough milk to breastfeed exclusively. I was heartbroken. She was my friend. I knew her. I knew how important breastfeeding was to her. She was doing everything “right”. She wasn’t a failure as a mom. But the lactivist mentality that I’d adopted was making her feel like a bad mom.
Then one day, a customer was in my store with a fussy, young baby and, assuming that every mom who shops for cloth diapers would also share my passion for breastfeeding, I asked her if she would like a place to sit and nurse her baby. She broke down in tears. She couldn’t nurse her baby and my offer of a place to sit and “nurse” her baby was more than she could take right then. By this point, I’d tempered my views somewhat… but her response was formative in how I now train my staff. We now ask moms if they would like a place to sit and FEED their baby.
I learned similar lessons around diapering, food, childcare, working out of the home, home schooling…. you name it, I’ve had my opinions gently (almost always kindly) thrown back in my face by a friend I’d unintentionally hurt with my judgmental attitude. I’m so glad that we get second chances with our friends and that God has given me an opportunity to learn these lessons with people who loved me enough to give me a chance to grow up a little bit.
Today, those hard-learned lessons are applied to the way we approach product development, customer service or any other issue with our business.
We look first to build bridges with people, not walls over differences.
Allow me to explain….
When we created bumGenius, we wanted to create a diaper that family members who might be resistant to the idea of cloth diapering (like dads or grandparents) would actually use. bumGenius has hook & loop closures – a simple thing, but a familiar thing to a parent who already knows how to use a disposable diaper. bumGenius has stretchy tabs. Again, a simple, familiar feature. bumGenius is one-size, has a great warranty, fantastic customer service and makes economical sense. Sold. bumGenius has become a literal juggernaut in the cloth diapering industry. We have a tough time keeping track of just exactly where it is mentioned online now simply because there are SO MANY online mentions of the brand every single day.
When we created the Flip Diapering System, we wanted to create a flexible diapering system that was a little less expensive than bumGenius while providing options to a parent willing to tolerate a two-piece system. Stay dry, organic & disposable inserts became part of that system to properly address the needs of the different types of families we work with. Some really want the stay-dry fabric. Others strongly prefer organics. And really, most (not all) people use disposable diapers at some point with their baby. The disposable inserts take care of those times in life when you really just need a throwaway option.
When we created the Econobum System, the goal was to take care of families who really can’t afford diapers period. Buying bumGenius would be nice – but it really just isn’t going to happen because, frankly, they just need to be able to feed their family. I remember all too well the days of having to choose between diapers and groceries. It’s a hard place to be and it just didn’t seem fair that there wasn’t a good, solid, one-size option for that family. Econobum is for you, momma.
Our goal as a company is to make it easy for more people to use cloth diapers. With bumGenius, Flip and Econobum, we’ve given more parents options, increasing the accessibility to cloth diapers by recognizing families in different places in life. Some people can cloth diaper 100% of the time, but not everyone. Some people can afford organic diapers, but not everyone. Some people can afford cloth diapers, but…. not everyone. People are different. Different people need options.
A few weeks ago, I was interviewed by Mothering Magazine for an article that will publish soon about cloth diapers. The interviewer was curious about why we did a disposable insert for our products. She also wanted suggestions about how to best word her article to avoid offending parents who cannot use cloth diapers for one reason or another. She was also interested in knowing why we have so many users in our diapering systems who are new to cloth diapers (and switching over from disposables).
My answer to her…. and to you…. is that we believe in building bridges, not walls. We believe that every family, every parent, every baby is different. We believe that you (and all your lovely differences) deserve to be treated with respect. Therefore, our products assume nothing about you…. and in the process of providing more families with what they need, we have made the cloth diapering world a bigger, better place for more, different people. I like it that way. I hope you do too.
Happy almost earth day.
~Jenn Labit
Cotton Babies, Owner
Creator of Flip, bumGenius and Econobum
P.S. Hey dads, most of my readers are women, but I know that there are lots of dads out there too… feel free to swap out “dad” for “mom” wherever appropriate. We love you too.

About the Author

Jenn is the founder of Cotton Babies & creator of bumGenius, Flip, and Econobum, worldwide leading cloth diaper brands. She has four children (Andrew, Oscar, Elsie and Louis) and holds an MBA from Washington University. When she's not working full time, she enjoys teaching business leaders how to implement sustainable economic & social change.



  • your jump manual said...
    February 12, 2011 at 8:42 am

    Breastfeeding is one of the most important things you can do for your new baby. It is a beautiful, inexpensive, natural and healthy way to give your baby the best nutrition possible.

  • Cloth Diapers Online said...
    October 9, 2010 at 7:58 pm

    Wow – this is a great post and one that every new Mother should read as soon as she gets her ‘mommy bearings’ and starts to preach to other, often new-er moms. You’re right – we can educate and we can talk but at the end of the day, every mother out there has to do what is best for her.

    Thank you for such an enlightened article.

  • Anonymous said...
    June 15, 2010 at 10:47 pm

    I deserved that. Gosh I can be so bad. I have developed such strong beliefs: Breastfeeding, Babyled weaning, Ec, Attatchment parenting, co-sleeping, babywearing…

    I do sometimes find myself looking at a person with a pacifier and thinking, “Why do they do that..” or the bottle and thinking, “oh bottlefed…”

    Yes, I am sorry for all that!

    I’ve been at the end of the stick too and had comments about my late breastfeeding, wearing my baby, co-sleeping… So I do understand. It goes both ways.

    I think alot of it is feeling isolated and kind of that oh you are doing that because deep down you are hoping they are like you so you can actually have something in common with someone… at least thats how I felt.

  • BhimiBlog said...
    May 29, 2010 at 12:45 am

    This is one of your best posts in a long time, Jenn!! Kudos!

    I learned early to never judge a mom with my sister who had 3 kids before I had ONE! She tried desperately to BF those 3 but had small nipples and low supply. It’s always something with lactivists. If you breastfed (which I did) you could’ve done so LONGER. If you didn’t succeed, the only “acceptable” reason was low milk supply, but not small/inverted nipples. And it seems whoever had “the hardest time” or the “smoothest” experience WON their admiration for best mom. What a joke… We all have different bodies and different lives, but all need support and respect, not blame/shame/judgement.

    @Autumn — of course the same freedom of choice goes for homeschooling. It truly isn’t right for everyone. Support, don’t assume you know what’s best for all people.

    And I was gonna let it go, but just couldn’t:
    @Steve — you’re kidding about other religions, right? I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt that you just FORGOT that Christians (of which I am one), in fact, burnt women at the stake for “witchcraft” because they used things like HERBS! And that you FORGOT about Hindus and Buddhists? Because, surely you wouldn’t pre-judge all religions (going totally against the spirit of Jenn’s article – being that ALL PEOPLE deserve respect, and the right to not be pre-judged, and have generalizations made about them, including you 🙂 I hope you take a second look at those religions you assume to know so much about, and meet a few Hindus and Buddhists, and possibly reconsider.

    Keep these wonderful, heartfelt posts comin’ Jenn!

  • Jen said...
    May 8, 2010 at 11:25 am

    I just wanted to say thank you. My poor boy was being starved because I wasn’t making enough milk. I feel extremely guilty about both the fact that I can’t BF exclusively AND the fact that I was STARVING him! Thank you for “forgiving” those of us who can’t make it work

  • Cloth Bottom said...
    May 6, 2010 at 2:29 am

    I say not only Mom’s but everyone…

  • Miranda said...
    May 4, 2010 at 11:28 pm

    Amazing and true post. I had a hard time with the breastfeeding activists in my life when it came to my last baby who has Acidosis, we still don’t know which form she has. At 3 months old she was hospitalized from weighing 7lbs 12oz at 3 months old. Only a mere 5 ounces more than her birth weight. She underwent so many testing, IVs, blown veins, blood transfusions, accu checks, medications, a month in the hospital, sweat tests, you name it she most likely underwent it. by the time she left she had been stuck with over 300 needles/IVs/blood draws. I was breastfeeding on demand and once she was admitted I was pumping and pumping while stressed. I couldn’t keep up with her demand for food. And my milk never gave her any fat to put on weight. Even formula could barely do that. She was discharged at 4 months old and weighed 1 pound more than her admitted date. It was hard to go through all that and then have friends tell me I could breastfeed her. That the doctors were lieing to us and everything under the sun that made me feel like a failure. I’m a huge believer in a mother does the best she can for her children and should never be made to feel bad. To this day almost 5 months later I still get the guilt trips and what not on my baby. But like I tell them I did what I had to do to ensure my baby lives a healthy life. I’ll go to the ends of the earth to make sure she lives and if that means we make different choices than we planned then so be it. Life’s a journey not a plan.

  • Miles From Ordinary said...
    April 13, 2010 at 4:43 pm

    I recently got marries. Quite a bit little later in life then my friends. (Most have been married over 5 years with 2+ kinds.) They showed me how much they love their kids by looking for/learning to do the best they were capable of, in that child’s behalf. However, I know women who have not taken the initiative to find out. Not bad, just uniformed.
    Like Joan, we need “advocate/evangelist” to get the news out there, wrapped in a box of love, tied with compassion.

  • Summer Queen said...
    April 13, 2010 at 4:32 am

    Hi and thanks for this great post.
    I’ve been in parenting only for 4.5 years now
    but there is one thing I’ve learned –
    Every Mom is the best to her child!
    When a thought like “omg, the baby is crying and that mother is not doing anything about it”
    comes in my head I try to remember that
    I don’t know this woman and her story and I am not in the position to judge her.

  • Mindy said...
    April 12, 2010 at 3:03 pm

    What a terrific post! One thing I love about being a part of the online world is connecting with moms who make all kinds of different parenting choices. I think we often feel like we have to join a camp or become a certain “type” of mom. I find that many cloth diapering mamas are about attachment parenting or co-sleeping. I don’t do these things, but I’m still interested in their blogs and their ideas. I follow my instincts and make thoughtful decisions and try not to worry about following some particular book or parenting plan. I think that’s help me keep my sanity – and hopefully be less judgemental.

  • Amy T. said...
    April 7, 2010 at 3:32 pm

    What a wonderful post! It’s important to remember what is worth getting in an argument over and what is not.

    When I started cloth diapering over three years ago, no one else I knew was doing it, so I kind of kept it to myself and only talked about it if people asked. To my surprise I now have several friends who are cloth diapering due to my “influence.”

    Thanks for sharing from your heart!

  • Leslie said...
    April 5, 2010 at 8:33 pm

    I know I’m finding this post a little late, but I just had to say that I’m so encouraged by it. I’ve been in that place of being judgmental and having it bite me in the rear, and unfortunately I still find myself doing it occasionally. However, I have an amazing God who continually showers me with grace, and thankfully He’s also patiently showing me how to shower grace on others as well.

  • Cheryl said...
    March 29, 2010 at 1:49 pm

    Yeah, I never knew what an intensive job it was until it was my full time job, lol! I have to agree about disposable diapers, in this day and age when money is so tight and we better understand the environmental impact of disposable products, why aren’t more people using cloth diapers? It’s really not that much work to use cloth at home and disposable when you’re out and about…

  • amisha said...
    March 12, 2010 at 4:45 pm

    The Lord straightened me out with the birth of our 4th child. Our first 3 children were born at home and in our eyes that was the only way to birth. Then when I had to transfer with Sterling I had my eyes opened in a way I never thought possible.
    the jump manual

  • Alyssa the Ragamuffin said...
    March 6, 2010 at 11:22 pm

    What a beautiful post.

    I was a teacher before I became a parent and it gave me some great perspective. People often screw up their kids, but it’s not with formula or disposable diapers — it’s with addictions, abuse, neglect or terrible home lives. It helps to see the big picture!

    I had a lot of guilt when I first became a parent. I didn’t want to mess up the most important job in the world! But I want my daughter to have grace for herself and I learned that I can have grace for myself and others too.

    If you are a healthy individual and you love your baby and do your best, GREAT JOB! Don’t sweat the small stuff. Just make the best decision for your family.

    And hang out with non-judgmental moms too! 😉

  • wet wipes said...
    March 5, 2010 at 11:37 pm

    In regards to the breastfeeding mom…there are some moms who are unable to generate the same…and it hurts to go through it knowing how important it is for the child.But it is never right to lose heart and sit and cry…there are alternatives which can make the baby happy and healthy surely.

  • 奇怪 said...
    March 3, 2010 at 12:04 am

    blog的用心,看得出來~~請加油 ........................................

  • CindiP said...
    March 2, 2010 at 6:51 pm

    “I can’t say I am as gentle about not homeschooling but …”

    Wow, Autumn! Jenn builds a bridge and then you put up a big wall. I’m glad I didn’t waste my money on your book knowing now what you think of me. Did you ever stop to think that homeschooling isn’t right for all children? I guess you were too busy judging parents like me.

  • Anonymous said...
    February 28, 2010 at 11:59 pm

    Very well stated. Mom’s are so hard on each other sometimes when really, we are all doing the very best that we can and we should support one another. Love the diapers!

  • SCMOMOF2BOYS said...
    February 27, 2010 at 1:51 pm

    I so enjoyed this post. I wanted to breastfeed both my boys but had major issues. My first was both bottle and breastfed bcz he kept loosing weight. Lactation experts will say all day long supply and demand – BULL. This doesn’t apply to every mom. My milk supply was minimal at best and I tried everything, including prescription and non prescription remedies, and renting a hospital grade pump. With my second baby who was breech, same problem(little to no milk supply) but due to contacting a staph infection in my incision I had to immediately stop breastfeeding. I was hospitalized for 15 days and was DEATHLY sick. I never wanted a c-section, but had no choice and ended up having a horiffic outcome.

    Cloth diapering was a journey for me. I wanted to, but being a SAHM on a budget, I thought it was impossible, but I bought one or two diapers at a time from your store and thank God for it and the free shipping!! There is no store in SC within a 2 hour radius for me to purchase cloth diapering supplies, so without your store and a couple of other free shipping stores I could not cloth diaper my son. I can’t afford to spend $99 to get the free shipping. I have to wait for pay day and buy one or two at a time. It’s really hard for people to jump in, bcz it will in the long run save you money but upfront is really hard to fork out all the extra money, so thank goodness for Econobum, the very first cloth diaper I purchased.
    I will say where I live it is reverse critisicm here. Mom’s especially think it’s weird and icky to use cloth. I am not the norm, and no matter how I try to convince people it’s the better way, I don’t seem to get anywhere. At church in our nursery the older women(grandmother’s) love my BG’s!! I take those to church when he’s in the nursery bcz they are the easiest. Those older women rave about how they cloth diapered as there was no alternative and how much they love your dipes, but the younger women don’t seem to want to fool with cloth. I don’t get it.
    Sorry for going on and on. I enjoyed your post very much and I LOVE your store. It really helps Mom’s like me to cloth diaper. Without you I could not do it. I

  • Renee T. said...
    February 25, 2010 at 1:27 pm

    Thanks for writing this. I am posting a link to this in a forum where we were discussing this very thing. Very timely.

  • Anonymous said...
    February 24, 2010 at 3:27 pm

    great post, Jenn.
    just a quick comment on a comment by Steve which said “Do you realize, that ONLY Christianity demands that right for all women? Think about it… Every other “religion” is harsh and demanding on women.”
    Actually, that is completly untrue. Christainity has a bloody history of witchcraft where women who did dare speak against the church were delcared “witches” and burnt alive. Thousands of them.

    But, being that we talking about kindness, i would only state unless you are an expert on all religions, please do not make naiive comments like this.

    Most other religions, and i can name several like Hinduism, Jainism, Bhuddism, etc hold women in higher respect than men.
    Check your facts.

  • Magnolia Girl Stuck in the Middle of America said...
    February 24, 2010 at 1:32 am

    It was so hard for me to come to terms with not being able to exclusively breastfeed. I breastfed and supplemented with formula for 15-16 months and wasn’t okay with it until I was having a discussion with my husband the other day when talking about breastfeeding the baby we’re pregnant with. I said it makes me feel like less of a woman that I wasn’t able to EfB, and he said well it’s not about you it’s about the health of the baby. I was finally okay with the fact that I couldn’t produce enough and I gave my baby what I could produce and was glad to have formula to be able to supplement.

  • Jenn said...
    February 22, 2010 at 7:58 pm

    Thank you, everyone for your amazing, encouraging comments. Life as a mommy is challenging, but rewarding. I’m so glad to have had a chance to learn… We can work on influencing change one (kind) step at a time.

  • Capt'n Amazing's wife said...
    February 22, 2010 at 1:02 pm

    Sniffle, sniffle….I don’t even know you and I just want to hug you! What a wonderful post! I just ordered the BG organic and some Fuzzibunz from you yesterday, I am so excited to get them and use them! Huzzah!

  • Jenn @ Beautiful Caling said...
    February 20, 2010 at 10:00 pm

    Most of the above comments echo my sentiments. I too have (and at times still do) have preconceived ideas about parenting, then I find myself proven wrong.

    I had home births, no issues with nursing, failed at cloth diapering with my first and am loving it (Thanks BG3.0!) with my second.

    We want and try to do our best for our littles and what is best differs. Thanks for reminding us!

  • karla said...
    February 20, 2010 at 3:06 pm

    That was a great post and truly from the heart!

  • Sonja said...
    February 19, 2010 at 11:22 am

    Wow, what an amazing post. I almost got teary-eyed.

  • monica said...
    February 19, 2010 at 5:10 am

    i couldn’t agree with you more regarding how important it is not to throw judgment or even imply it with how we speak to people, particularly new moms. =) i also love my bumgenius pockets and econobums! love, love, love them!!! thank you for offering so many different products to fit the needs of so many. your company truly is one that listens to it’s customers.

  • glam.mama said...
    February 18, 2010 at 10:17 pm

    What a great post! I truly believe that if you keep sitting on your high horse, looking down at everyone else, no one is going to be moved to ask for your help in making changes to their lives, no matter how much they want to!

    While I BF, BW, CD, etc etc, I am friends with all sorts of moms. I truly do not care how other people choose to raise their kids, but I’ve been lucky in that my non-judgmental attitudes have resulted in a number of other mamas being converted to cloth, or moved to relactate. When you’re not too busy shoving your ideals down people’s throats, you might notice that twinkle of interest in their eyes when you CD/BF/etc.

  • katiesniche said...
    February 18, 2010 at 9:53 pm

    What I love is taking my tyke into the church nursery where there might be a lady in there that hasn’t had him before (they switch out all the time) and tell her he’s a cloth diaper baby. Jaws hit the floor and I let them….then I show them the bumGenius and they laugh and are at ease again 🙂 Thank you for a wonderful diaper! I also use prefolds and wraps.

  • Peyton said...
    February 18, 2010 at 9:00 pm

    Wow. Thanks so much for this. I was devestated when I couldn’t EBF with my daughter and felt tremendous guilt when I put away the breast pump, too. I completely agree with the previous comment–this is very refreshing!

  • Lauren said...
    February 18, 2010 at 8:42 pm

    Thanks. What a refreshing post regarding all those seeming non-negotiables.

  • Mrs. SSG M. said...
    February 18, 2010 at 5:46 pm

    Great post. It reminds me of a conversation I had with my parents this past weekend. I always get frustrated with my hospital birthing friends who think that’s normal, friends who never even tried to breastfeed, those who don’t do extended rear-facing, and of course, people who think cloth diapering is weird or difficult and don’t even try it. See, my parents are both hippies, and my mom is a child development professor (dad is an organic farmer), so they generally see things the way I do when it come to raising the kids. I thought they would understand this time, too.

    Surprisingly, they didn’t. My dad said, “You know, you can spend a lifetime worrying about everyone else’s poorly raised kids, or you can spend that energy on the stuff you can change, which is how YOU raise YOUR kids.” My mom said, “We think you’re doing things the right way, but you also have to think, if you’re judgmental toward others, they’ll never try any of this stuff, even if it would benefit them and their kids. They won’t even feel comfortable asking you about it. That has no purpose.” The whole point was exactly what you said. Build bridges, not walls. It’s all very true.

    Oh, and since you mentioned dads, I must add that my husband, a big tough US Army Staff Sergeant, is a PROUD cloth diapering daddy, and has even gotten three of his soldiers to try cloth!! <3

  • Jennifer Moore said...
    February 18, 2010 at 5:42 pm

    Love this post.

  • melissa said...
    February 18, 2010 at 5:29 pm

    I am sitting here reading this as I am pumping, I consider my babies 100% breastfed, as they have never had any formula, numerous bottles, but no formula. My third child should have been easy to nurse but for various reasons I could not nurse for the first 3 months of her life, I still am proud to say that she has received all breast milk and no formula, and I have worked very hard to make sure of that. I am not embarassed to give her a bottle as I am the one that filled it! Just recently I have been asked to help suplement for my sisters premie twins, and I made the choice to help her which means more bottles for my baby so I can pump and store more to help my niece and nephew. Tough decision for me as she is only been back on the breast for 3 months, but the benefits of helping the other babies is worth it! Ok climbing off the soapbox and back to the cloth diapers.

    I just purchased my organic bumgenius AIO and and so excited to use them,(if they would ever be done in the washer and dryer!) I have used disposibles with my 2 older girls and I am just now getting on the cloth diaper band wagon! Wish me luck, but I know it is worth it and I can not wait to get started!

  • Kelly said...
    February 18, 2010 at 4:58 pm

    Wonderful post that is beautifully written and heartfelt. It definitely reminds us all to be a little bit more open to other ways… they may not be OUR way, but they are working for someone else who cares about their children.

  • Craig-Jen said...
    February 18, 2010 at 4:54 pm

    Ahhh, yes, it’s the different camps thing. I truly believe there is no right or wrong (and have blogged about that many times), just a different camp. I choose to do this and you choose to do that. My own humility struck before I even took my daughter home from the hospital and I wasn’t able to deliver naturally (aka: drug-free) and ended up with a c-section. I skipped that chapter in the books because it wasn’t an option for me. “Who would drug their baby before they were even born???” Well, me. My daughter’s head was wedged and nothing worked. Nothing. While I may not agree with all camps in parenting my own children, I do respect all the parents out there and their decision to pitch their tent wherever they want.

  • Anonymous said...
    February 18, 2010 at 4:23 pm

    I was going to post just to say – “uh, what?” about Steve’s comment but I’ll just ignore it and say thank you for posting this. 🙂

  • TheGirl said...
    February 18, 2010 at 3:59 pm

    This is a great post. I too have eaten my words as a mother. I have been that mom and in turn I have learned that everyone is different and we should try and be more supportive as women and mothers.

  • Nikki said...
    February 18, 2010 at 3:40 pm

    Great post Jen! As a first-time Mom, I definitely had my “ideas” of how things would be and boy was I wrong! I’ve had to eat crow many many times, that I think I have wings! LOL! But now that my Cub is 16 months, I have definitely changed how I say/inquire to other Moms so as to not offend. Because each family has to do what’s right for them. :))) *clapping*

  • Autumn Beck | Cloth Diapers said...
    February 18, 2010 at 3:39 pm

    Jenn, those words could have been mine. The Lord straightened me out with the birth of our 4th child. Our first 3 children were born at home and in our eyes that was the only way to birth. Then when I had to transfer with Sterling I had my eyes opened in a way I never thought possible.

    I learned that it’s not so much about what a mom chooses but how they choose it. Are they making a fully informed decision and are they giving ALL they have to make it work? I gave EVERYTHING I had to birth Sterling at home. I pushed for 5 1/2 hours then begged to be taken to the hospital.

    I am very grateful that the Lord spared me a c-section! I hate that I had to learn to be more like Jesus this way instead of having a better character naturally. I still mourn the loss of my homebirth but I will be back on the horse next go round– Lord willing!

    I can’t say I am as gentle about not homeschooling but … 😀 Baby steps, right?

    I can’t wait to read your upcoming article!

  • MrsEAM said...
    February 18, 2010 at 3:38 pm

    A great post! I too was heartbroken that I didn’t produce enough milk for my baby. But for both our sanities, I started supplementing far earlier than I ever thought I would before I became a parent. When I finally admitted (through many tears) to my close friends who all breasfed, they all admitted to supplementing with their first child too! Why do we keep these things from each other? Can’t we mommas and mommas-to-be just be honest??

    Off my soapbox now – but thank you for creating such a great product! I can’t wait to see the article!

  • Amber said...
    February 18, 2010 at 3:36 pm

    You made me cry.

  • Lara said...
    February 18, 2010 at 3:01 pm

    Thank you! Guess what? I BOTTLE FEED. After unsuccessfully breastfeeding twice – and for the breastfeeding mafia members out there, I mean my babies lost more weight than they should have – (getting down to 5 lbs.), even with me pumping/nursing 12-14 times a day. I took Reglan, tried every herb, tea, medication they would give me. I now know I have a rare condition called insufficient glandular tissue. Anyway, no one would judge me if I fed my three year old Cheetos (which I don’t) but why do people behave as if you are poisoning your baby when some of us are forced to formula feed? Guess what? I have concluded that if a mom just flat out does not want to breastfeed, who cares?

    I am so glad someone pointed out this ridiculous judgement of other moms.

  • Anne said...
    February 18, 2010 at 2:34 pm

    Great Post!

  • EG said...
    February 18, 2010 at 2:24 pm

    AMEN, Mama! I read quite a few “Mommy Blogs” and I just wish we’d support each other instead of beating each other down. Think how strong we’d be. We could take over the world!

  • Joan said...
    February 18, 2010 at 2:06 pm

    Thank you for this excellent post. I started mommyhood as a lactivist and cloth diaper Nazi, but over the 4 months of trying absolutely everything to make nursing work (without success), I learned that some things are just out of a mom’s control. Like Natural Violet, I was, and sometimes still am, embarrassed to give my baby a bottle, even if it’s breast milk. But I’m slowly getting over it. And now I consider myself a breastfeeding and cloth diapering advocate/evangelist. I love sharing knowledge with other moms and moms-to-be, but am careful to emphasize that everyone has to decide what works best for their family and situation. The logic behind the new Flip! and Econobum systems is solid, and I’m one of the many who appreciates the caring attitude from all the Cotton Babies employees and you, the product designers. Thanks so much!

  • Natural Violet said...
    February 18, 2010 at 1:41 pm

    Wonderful post! Very nicely written. I had a very hard time with breastfeeding so totally been there. I was actually embarrassed to pull out a bottle in public even if it had breast milk. Interesting the pressure we put on ourselves and others when we are all just trying to do the best for our babies. Cloth diapers are great though and no pumping or mastitis so gotta love it!

  • Carly said...
    February 18, 2010 at 1:24 pm

    This was such a nice post. I enjoyed reading this very much and I agree with you on all of these topics. I have often said the wrong thing to moms and wish I didn’t. Thanks for a great read.

  • Kelly said...
    February 18, 2010 at 1:23 pm

    Love this post!

  • Steve said...
    February 18, 2010 at 1:08 pm

    I’d like to elaborate on “All Mom’s deserve to be treated with respect”… (which they do)

    All women deserve to be treated with respect.

    Do you realize, that ONLY Christianity demands that right for all women? Think about it…

    Every other “religion” is harsh and demanding on women.

  • Anonymous said...
    February 18, 2010 at 12:58 pm

    This is what I say so often, it’s SO NICE to hear someone else say it. My baby uses a pacifier. You would think I was murdering her from what some people say. Calm down, people, it’s a pacifier, and my baby was always well fed, first, pacified when she just wanted to suck on something else. What they don’t realize is that if my baby doesn’t have a pacifier, she sucks on her hands. In most people’s case, great! but my baby has severe eczema, and that can lead to a flares, cracking and even bleeding, but you wouldn’t know that because her pacifier keeps her hands in great shape. I try very hard not to judge other moms and know that I might not do things the way they do but I am not living life in their shoes.

    Thanks so much for a great post. I believe that all moms really DO have their children’s best interests in mind (barring, as you mentioned, the bad moms who abuse and neglect their children) and we need to give each other the benefit of the doubt.

  • said...
    February 18, 2010 at 12:54 pm

    I am definitely guilt as coming off as a lactivist and cloth diaper Nazi. I still continue to push my idealds but try to remind myself there are extinuating circumstances for everyone and if I can, offer advice or encouragement for them to achieve those ideals.

  • Lil Mouse said...
    February 18, 2010 at 12:51 pm

    Just another reason to love your brand.

  • Carrie said...
    February 18, 2010 at 12:48 pm

    This is a wonderful post. I will definitely keep your words in mind when talking to other moms (and dads). If there’s one thing I’ve learned so far, it’s that all babies — and families — are unique, and the best choices for my family are not the best choices for everyone. 🙂

  • summerific said...
    February 18, 2010 at 12:44 pm

    Love this post!