Looking out my back window in itself can induce stress… if I let it. Or I can choose to simply let go and remember a much more enjoyable and important way to spend my time… Quality time with my girls. This is one of the many times I’ve learned letting go was more important than getting all the things done.
Growing a Jungle of Weeds
In the four summers we’ve lived in our house, I’ve managed to have a vegetable garden three out of four of those years. It has been a blast growing our own veggies and herbs, but this summer, I grew a jungle. My garden took a hit and the weeds thrived like never before. I’ll admit – it sometimes stresses me out when I can’t find my tomatoes in the bundles of weeds… I’ll look at my yard and all I see are the things that need to get done. If only I had the time…
At times, I imagine its potential and all that it could be. I imagine the enchanted, weed-free vegetable garden I envisioned when I began this project. But alas, here it is – a jungle with hidden treasures. But you know what? Part of me is okay with that.
Last summer, I had my third little one. I love being a mom of three – each one different and beautiful in their own way. But I have to say – It’s quite difficult to garden with three kids. Especially when the youngest is so sweet, tiny and wants to nurse all the time.
So this summer, I was determined. With my youngest getting a little older and more independent, I had high hopes I would achieve my dreams of an outdoor oasis. Well, it turns out that gardening with a toddler may be even more challenging than gardening with a newborn.
I have to often remind myself that I’m growing kids and the weeds will have a few more years of unattended joy. When my kids are older and off at the pool with their friends, I will have a chance to take my revenge on those weeds and create a backyard wonderland. Until than, we will play in our yard and simply enjoy the tomatoes we find amongst the weeds.
The truth is – my kids don’t notice the weeds at all! They simply love the time we are spending together, making memories in our backyard jungle. I love that.
As moms, we simply have to learn to let go. I think this is so important because letting go of the things society places importance on gives us more time to focus on the REAL important things – our families’ needs. I find peace in knowing I’m choosing to spend my time with those I love most and not just doing all the things I think others expect of me.
While letting go is an ongoing process, I have found the following tips have helped me through the times I’ve simply needed to be reminded of what is really important:
- Talking things out with my husband about what is important to us right now as we raise our three girls. It’s always nice to talk out what I’m going through with someone who will help me get a clearer perspective on the situation. For me, this is the best way to avoid burnout.
- Saying no to the events, activities and other responsibilities that do not fit our family’s goals for the present phase in our lives. If you allow your schedule to get too busy, you will always be overwhelmed. Simplify your life – you don’t have to attend every single event. Don’t be afraid to say “no!” Prioritize your time and make the things that are really important to you first in line.
- Spending time with my friends. Not only is it nice to get away and have adult conversations with good friends, but also to get a little reminder that I am not alone in this journey of motherhood. There are other mamas walking this same path and going through similar situations.
- Babywearing. When you have a little one running around, babywearing can be a life-saver. I simply strap her into my Tula and get to work. I absolutely love wearing my little one – Not only because it enables me to get important to do’s accomplished, but I’m also connecting with her in the process.
- Live in the moment. Now, I realize this is easier said than done. With so many things to do, there’s always a million things running around in your head – I get it. But if we work on staying present and doing our best not to let our mind wander, we’ll enjoy the moments so much more. Things will get done when they get done. Our little ones will not always be little.
What things have you had to let go of throughout your journey as a parent? Are you growing a jungle too?