Four Little Words
September 14, 2010 4:04 pm
Last week, Jenn asked our Facebook fans what topics they would like to see covered in our new “Real Mom Talk” blog posts. Many of you responded that working mom issues were important to you.
I can identify. I’m right in the middle of transitioning from stay at home to working mom. I spent the last 7 years of my life at home with my children.
I’ve known for a while my time at home would be coming to an end, I just didn’t know exactly when. In between updating my resume, picking out interview outfits and adjusting my laundry schedule, I began preparing my own heart for the transition. Truth is, you can only prepare yourself so much.
What I could not prepare for was when my oldest son stepped off the bus last Friday and asked, “Why are you here?” Four little words was all it took to shake me to my core and make me question returning to work.
My son meant no harm, he was asking a simple question. He had no idea the pain it could cause. The fact is, I know that right now, for my family, this is the right thing. I have a peace about it, deep within my heart. I’m excited, not just because it’s a cool job. Deep within my core, I know that many of my life experiences have been preparing me for this job and this season of my life. I also know how blessed I am that this is my choice, rather than a choice based out of necessity. Still, knowing all of that doesn’t necessarily make it any easier.
I could make ten to-do lists each day, have a meal in the crock pot each night and my house could run with military precision. It doesn’t, but even if it did it wouldn’t matter. The most difficult things about being a working mother are the issues that we deal with inside our hearts and minds. They are the little things your children say with their sweet innocence that are a knife through your heart. No one tells you that when you sign your W-4.
What wounding words or moments have your children delivered? How do you deal with those knife to the heart moments?
The constant struggle between work and home. I have battled with going back to work. If I work full time my family will have money to do the things they want and “enjoy” life right? If I work all the time though than who spends time with my son? A day care provider? I am lucky enough to have found a job that allows me to take my son to work with me until he is mobile. However I know that the time is coming and that he will not want to ride on my back forever peering over my shoulder at the people and things around him. Will I be able to make the transition to daycare? And If I am so worked up about it how must he be feeling? Nothing in life is clear and I feel that things have gotten even more murky since having my son. What I want to do and what I have to do are on opposite ends of the spectrum and I fight the inner turmoil! Maybe someday we will all get what we want without it costing us so much of what we need!!
How true… I have recently gone back to work. My little one is 7 months old. Unfortunately, I had to go back full time. Nothing prepares you for the heart ache and feeling so torn inside… career and baby. I believe you can’t have it all. Something has to give even if it is only minor…
I would give anything in the world to be a real SAHM. I’m a WAHM going into the office once or twice each week for just 4 hours but that alone kills me. I can’t imagine having to leave my son for 8+ hours a day every day. I know so many moms have to do just that and I know I am incredibly blessed to be able to work from home. Even though I am home, I feel incredibly guilty about the amount of time I spend working (or trying to). I hate having to put my baby in his swing or some other type of activity to keep him busy when all I want to do is play with him and hold him. I feel like I am torn between doing well at work and being a good mom – and to me, the most important thing is being a good mom. Unfortunately, I HAVE to work to make ends meet. I hope some day I can just be a mom and a wife – that sounds like the best job in the world and no corporate executive position with a six-figure-income could ever compare to having the opportunity to be with your kids all day.
My baby is almost 6 months old…so I have not gotten to the point where she would say something to wound me…but if she cries when I am just about to leave home (granny takes care of her during the day), my day is pretty much ruined 🙁
My knife to the heart moment is related but from a completely different angle. As a SAHM, I attended two different mothers’ teas one spring, during which my kids noted on little questionares about Mommy was that I “was on the computer all day”.
It was a wake up call that although I was physically present all day at home, my attention really wasn’t. I knew in my heart I was supposed to be there, but I was allowing myself to be distracted from fulfilling the calling.
Working moms, SAHMs all have those moments I guess!