Maybe you’re a bully and you don’t even know it.
November 17, 2010 8:57 pm
We were discussing the issue of internet bullying at breakfast the other day and a friend mentioned to me that it’s almost like women are using their words as fists. We advocate for our children who are dealing with bullies at school and then call it “free speech” when we use our blog or our Facebook page to bully people through subtle language choices. Subtleties are often lost on the socially unskilled. If that’s you, it’s ok. You don’t have comment on or even like this post. However, please read and use this post a guide for what not to say to another mom.
Below are some examples of things that I’ve heard women say (always assuming that I shared their view). As you read, please keep in mind that these opinions are not necessary mine.
What was said: “I am so glad that you sell slings. I just saw a woman in Walmart carrying a baby in a Baby Bjorn. That poor child was dangling from his pelvis and looked so uncomfortable.”
What she was intimating: “You’d never use a Baby Bjorn and neither would I. We BOTH know that they are BAD for a baby’s pelvis and that a responsible, educated mother would only use a carrier that properly supports a baby’s spine.”
What the person standing nearby heard: “I didn’t know that. I must be a bad mom because my baby lived in a Baby Bjorn for the first few months of his life. I hope my baby’s spine and hips are ok. I’ll never say that out loud here though because I’ll be judged.”
2. My friend just had a baby the other day. I visited her in the hospital and she was so upset that the hospital fed the baby formula. How could they feed the baby that poison? I’m so furious.
3. I just saw a woman in Walmart wheeling a screaming baby around in a stroller. She didn’t stop to pick up her baby… she just kept shopping. That baby just needed to eat!
4. I’d never put a disposable diaper on my baby. Don’t you know they are full of chemicals?
5. There is such a negative aura around polyester. I’d never put it on my child. We choose to use only cotton products.
6. Our biggest problem is parent participation at school. I wish more of the working moms would care enough to show up at their child’s activities.
7. You shouldn’t use a pacifier. It’s a mother-substitute. When your baby is crying, you should nurse him.
8. Did you SEE the formula in that shopping cart?
Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”