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Real Mom Talk: What Not to Say to a Pregnant Woman
June 16, 2014 8:00 pm | by

Screen Shot 2014-06-16 at 8.58.42 PMWhat is it about being pregnant that makes strangers lose any filter they may have had during social interactions?

As you begin to look pregnant, suddenly everyone in the world has an opinion about the way you look, the foods you eat, the way you plan to feed your child, the size of your body, and a million other things. I’ve heard all of these things (directed at either me when I was pregnant or friends of mine when they were). Let’s all agree never to say them to any pregnant woman again.

“Wow, you look so tired. It must be a girl- they steal your beauty.”  Thanks for saying how terrible I look.

“Oh, look how big you are side-to side, you’re obviously having a boy.” Please don’t comment on any part of a pregnant woman being big.

“You must be due any minute” (when the person still had 3 months to go) Again, size is not your concern.

“There’s no way you’re due tomorrow, that baby must not be growing right, you’re too small.” How many times can we say that the relative size of a pregnant woman is not your worry?

“Should you really be eating that?” Yes, yes, I should.

“You should eat ______ to help you and the baby.” Are you my personal nutritionist or doctor? If not, no comments, please.

“If you get induced your baby isn’t going to be safe.” Are you my doctor?

“If you don’t get induced your baby isn’t going to be safe.” I repeat, are you my doctor?

“You shouldn’t walk around so much.” I’m a grown woman that can decide for myself how much physical activity I can do.

“You’re not walking around enough.”You don’t know my life.

“Wow, must be a huge baby in there!” Please stop talking about the size of pregnant women!

“How can you even walk?” Really?

 “You must want a girl, since you didn’t get one yet.”

“Is this finally your husband’s boy?”

No. Just no. To anything along these lines.

Let’s all agree that no one should ever comment on the size of a pregnant woman, the size of her yet to be born baby, the food she is or is not eating, how she will be feeding her yet-to-be-born child, her level of activity, or the worthiness of one sex of baby over another.

Here’s what you can say to a pregnant woman:

“You look great.”

That’s it. No other unsolicited comments. Let’s just spread the word on this and make the world a better place for all pregnant women by shielding them from hurtful comments. And, while we’re at it, let’s also make sure everyone asks permission before touching a pregnant woman. It shouldn’t take too long to make these rules universal, right?

What’s the worst thing someone said to you while you were pregnant?

About the Author

Claire is an Army wife that may not have been cut out for homemaking. Follow her adventures as she, her husband (Sergeant Handsome), their three sons and two dogs try to keep it together over on her personal blog, The Half-Hearted Housewife, where love means never having to do the dishes.



  • Miranda said...
    June 19, 2014 at 7:49 pm

    “Are you sure you’re not having twins? I was only 25 weeks at the time!

  • amber said...
    June 17, 2014 at 5:40 pm

    Genetically speaking, I knew I would be relatively small throughout my pregnancy and have an enjoyable pregnancy (thanks mom). These are the comments I get ALL the time!!!!
    – you’re so tiny! !! You’re going to ger HUGE any day now,, bigger than all the other pregnant women!
    – if you like being pregnant you are going to HATE motherhood!!!
    – if you’re having a good pregnancy it means you’ll probably have a really terrible labor
    – you don’t have symptoms? Must be a boy. It’s a girl? … something is probably wrong with her…
    – (after I eat a meal) WhoA! !!! You look SO pregnant now!!!
    -being thin before/during pregnancy means that you’ll be obese afterwards.

    Maybe some of these are true, Maybe not. But why do people think it’s ok to say any of these things????
    I also hate the “just you wait” comments for every new era in life!
    Engaged: just you wait! You’ll be sick of each other after thehoneymoon
    1 year anniversary: you’ll hate each other in a few years
    2 year anniversary: no more cuddling when she’s pregnant! She’ll hate it!
    Pregnant: you’ll hate cuddling and kissing when the baby comes *cue unsolicited advice*